Tango Etiquette for Leaders

• Gentleman-like behavior is expected at all times.
• When inviting a follower to dance, be aware of social queues: is she obviously resting? Is she engrossed in conversation? Is she avoiding your glance?
• When you enter the dance floor, either do so between songs or where there is a gap – dancers on the floor must not be disturbed in any way.
• Move with the line of dance – counter clockwise.
• If you are a man who soaks his shirt in sweat, take breaks to keep from overheating, consider wearing a jacket or undershirt, or bring a change of clothes.
• In formal milongas, the man must escort the woman on and off the floor.
• Respect the space and safety of other dancers – particularly on a crowded floor.
• Avoid collisions by managing your space carefully, including moving at the same speed as other dancers.
• If you do accidentally hit or collide with other dancers, apologise in-between songs.
• Do not ‘tail-gate’ other couples.
• Do not overtake other couples.
• Don’t zig zag or continually weave in and out of ‘dance lanes’.
• If the dance is declined, accept gracefully.
• If you are declined, don’t ‘baby-sit’ … ie don’t sit next to the woman and start talking until she is ready.
• Generally try to dance with a woman of your own level.
• It is OK to ask a woman to dance even if she is with a partner – but generally when her partner is already on the floor. If she is with her partner, it is polite in an old-fashioned sense to ask his consent; not mandatory but a bit of fun.
• Do not ask your partner to dance another tanda unless you are absolutely sure she wants to; tandas are intended as a natural mechanism to complete a dance, and requesting an extension is both impolite and pressures the follower unnecessarily.
• Understand the code for a dance invitation – whether it is verbal or the cabeceo.
• Wait until a follower has exited the dance floor before asking her to dance.
  Depending on the context, it may be rude to interrupt a follower deep in conversation to invite her to dance – try to determine first whether she is passively waiting for an invitation.
• Never invite a follower to invite by extending your hand! Use your eyes to cabeceo.
• If you choose to dance in the ronda, ensure you do not delay others behind you.
• The lead should never engage the follower with steps that are beyond her level; this will serve only to humiliate her.
• Do not ask the follower to commit to steps or embellishments that could be a danger to other dancers, such as high boleos on a crowded dance floor.
• Remember that while relationships certainly evolve on and off the dance floor, Tango is not a ‘meat market’.
• Be highly attentive to the follower’s body language regarding the type of embrace she is comfortable with – some women, particularly beginners, may not welcome an intimate embrace – that intimacy must be earned. The leader chooses the frame of the embrace, but it is the follower’s prerogative to determine its intimacy.
• If the follower is not doing precisely what you thought you asked her, react appropriately to keep the flow of dance – do not force your follower to ‘do it right’. Communication for the action-reaction dance steps is the lead’s responsIbility to get right, even with beginners. The leader should, paradoxically, follow the follower.
• Eliminate the backward step from your repertoire, particularly at crowded milongas.

Suggest an update to this page!

The TangoVida Guide is community-written. Submit your feedback below to help improve it. We appreciate your help.