Tango Etiquette for Followers

• It is okay to dance either open or closed embrace with your partner. If the way the leader is holding a closed embrace is causing your body pain or discomfort, or if you don’t feel safe in their close embrace, it’s completely fine to open it, but please open in the right moment and do it politely.
• A follower has the absolute right to decline a dance.
• If you refuse an invitation, but wish to dance with the lead later on, say so.
• Don’t decline a dance as feeling too tired, then immediately dance with someone else.
• In a crowded floor, avoid high boleos or embellishments that may end up in kicking other dancers.
• If a lead is making you feel very, very uncomfortable (for example, it’s rare but he may be drunk or overly sexual), you have the right to end the tanda early, politely.
• Yes – a woman may request a dance from a man (this is unusual in formal milongas but very common in informal milongas), and he also has the right to decline.
• If you are a follower and would like to ask a leader to dance, the usual cabecero rules apply. Do not walk up to a couple talking and verbally ask the leader to dance in front of another follower unless you are friends.
• If you are dancing with a leader who is picking fights with other leaders for bumping into each other during the tanda, respond in whatever way you feel most comfortable with (it’s okay to disagree with them!)
• If you are a complete beginner in the first couple of months of dancing, when you get close enough to the leader tell them that you are just a beginner. They may then suggest just dancing one song together. This is completely normal and a great way for you to both enjoy the experience.

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